Loss & Grief During the Holidays

There are lights on the tree, the presents wrapped and everything has a warm glow but there is a part of you that feels cold. A missing piece that makes all of it feel different than it was before, how you wish it could be. Maybe you feel it may never be the same, you wonder if it will ever feel as special, as magical as it was with them around.

When we lose our loved ones the grief we feel may change day by day, however, during the holiday season this longing for their presence feels just a bit deeper. Seeing those around us with their parents, children, or spouses can remind us of what we lost at a time of year when togetherness and families are highlighted all around us. Specific dates such as birthdays and anniversaries can bring up deep emotions as well, it reminds us of the time that has passed without them or what we wish we could share with them now. As more time passes from the loss, the feelings you experience may change.

How can we honor and enjoy their memory as we cope with loss?

Doing something that you used to enjoy with them can be an emotional experience, try to allow yourself to process and sit in those feelings that come up for you. Maybe you grab lunch at a place they loved to eat and think of what you would share with them over a meal about where you are at in life right now. What would you say to them? This can also help solidify and maintain your memory of them, keeping them alive with you in your heart.

Negative self-talk can often arise as we navigate through grief and loss.

Grief and loss can often lead to patterns of negative self-talk and criticism. When we lose someone close to us, we seek comfort and peace. It can be harder to heal and mourn when we are being harsh towards ourselves. Being able to identify these patterns is the first step. Notice what brings up these thoughts and feelings before working toward replacing those thoughts through the act of reframing. Other emotions such as anger, regret, and guilt are common when loss occurs. Although we should not dwell on these emotions, once identified we can take a closer look into all that can become entangled with grief and discover where it is coming from.

Grief counseling and grief therapy can help provide relief and assist in the process of both death-related and non-death-related grief. Although substantial attention has been given to bereavement grief, non-death-related losses just as often present significant challenges to our lives, such as divorce or loss of a job. Different phases of life come with changes and in many ways, changes can involve loss and loss requires change.

Have you faced loss in your life, either recently or in the past?

Grief has many phases and stages that come in no particular order and without limitations on the time it takes to endure it, oftentimes grief will come in and out of your life. At Discover Hope, we can support you through this process of acknowledging and living with the grief you feel. Healing begins with hope, let’s discover it together.