Recovering From a Stressful Holiday Season

Whether you stayed home and had family visiting or you traveled to see them, there is a lot of stress bundled up with all of that Christmas cheer and Thanksgiving stuffing. You held your breath hoping no one brings up politics, that your aunt wouldn’t point out that you look like you lost some weight. Touchy subjects may have come to the surface and there may have been family drama you would rather forget. Whatever has come up this last season may have been fun on its own, but it probably has affected you. You may have noticed feelings of stress, a shift in your joy, a disconnection from yourself, or even anxiety about what comes next.

Identify what was good and bad about this season.

Take a moment to reflect on the holiday season you just experienced, and think about what the last few weeks were like for you. After some reflection, how would you answer these questions…

• What brought you joy? Excitement? Connection?

• What stands out about where you went, what you did, and who was with you?

• Can you identify certain commitments that you made that you wish you said no to?

• What about something that surprised you, that maybe you didn’t want to do initially but then enjoyed being a part of?

These questions are challenging to answer if we do not know how to check in with ourselves. Mindfulness can be a tool to create awareness in the present moment by connecting us to various body sensations, emotional reactions, mental images, and self-talk to name a few. Its purpose is to help us recognize our needs on a level much deeper than our basic needs of survival, though it can be challenging to approach our experiences with openness and acceptance.

Part of what makes mindfulness challenging is that it is natural for our minds to wander, to sit in moments of self-criticism or doubt, it is much harder to refocus our minds and be present in the here and now.

Three Ways to Incorporate Mindfulness in Your Everyday Life

1. Breathing Exercises

It is good practice to establish and maintain regular mental and emotional check-ins on a regular basis through the use of a variety of mindfulness exercises. Many take the form of incorporating breathwork exercises that use several patterns of breath that evoke different physical sensations as well as emotional and mental responses. One example is the 4-7-8 technique, which is breathing in for four counts, holding at the top for seven, and then exhaling through an open mouth for eight making a small whooshing sound. It is recommended to repeat this breath cycle for six cycles before returning to a natural breath. If you are interested in learning more about the many benefits of this pattern and the studies conducted on its various benefits, we recommend checking out Andrew Weil, M.D.’s video, How to Perform The 4-7-8 Breathing Exercise. Some benefits include reductions in stress and improves sleep hygiene to both assist in falling asleep and staying asleep.

2. Notice, Accept, Dismiss, Return

With the several thousands of thoughts we think everyday, it can be challenging to stay focused and avoid getting distracted. Oftentimes when we try to focus, our first instinct is to shove away all the distracting thoughts, swatting at them like flies on a hot summer day. Consider this, you are laying on a lush field of grass, a soft breeze in the air gently pushes the clouds overhead as your body relaxes into the earth. Now, imagine each cloud is a thought…instead of ignoring it or wishing the wind might pick up and blow it away, acknowledge it, accept it, and let it go. Maybe another cloud crosses your view of the sky again and you allow yourself to spend more time with it later, but for now we notice, accept, dismiss and return to whatever else we want to think about. This exercise is a great one to incorporate with your breathing, as racing thoughts may come with a racing heart and may cause feelings of anxiety. Deep breaths in the nose, out the mouth, as you acknowledge and release the thoughts for another time.

3. Loving Kindness for Yourself and Others

Many of us in this life have experienced trauma and various things in life that have wounded us, making it difficult to not only love those that harm us, but also love ourselves. We are tested a lot during the holidays to maintain respectful and kind toward those in our families, but that may be easier said than done. This mindfulness exercise centers around an acceptance and compassion for ourselves and others. Imagine yourself, a good friend, someone you feel neutral about and someone you consider to be difficult. Now think of sending them loving kindness in your mind, for example, “May my good friend be well, may my good friend be happy, may my good friend be free from suffering.” Repeating this for each person listed above, coming up with whatever positive thoughts you want, whether you wish them safety, happiness, success, anything you think of. This shift is most successful when accomplished with yourself first, people are often unkind to themselves and that doesn’t leave much room for kindness toward anyone else especially if they are getting on your nerves at the dinner table.

Mindfulness can often bring about much needed change and healing in our lives.

While we learn to be more in tune with ourselves and start to incorporate the use of mindfulness it can bring a lot of feelings to the surface that we may have been neglecting or avoiding either intentionally or unintentionally. Do you have unresolved feelings and experiences that you need help exploring? How about someone to help you stay accountable for prioritizing yourself through your mental and emotional health? At Discover Hope, we can help you establish healthy ways to incorporate mindfulness in every season of your life, through these practices we can overcome various challenges in a healthy way. Healing begins with hope, let’s discover it together.