Moving Toward Growth and Healing
Many of us reflect on 2022 as a year of unexpected changes and disappointments, and for many of us, our plans for the year didn't go as we had hoped. While it’s important to acknowledge our feelings of disappointment, it’s also important to move forward and focus on the new opportunities that can come from the challenges that we have faced. The first step in moving forward is to take stock of the situation, recognizing how the disappointments of last year have impacted us so that we can better understand how to continue into this new session of life. This can be done through reflection on our personal growth that came with adversity, finding the positive side of our situations, and expressing gratitude for what we have.
Avoid disappointment in 2023 by setting realistic goals and expectations.
Oftentimes one of the most common letdowns, as we go into a New Year, is having unrealistic resolutions that we usually abandon or neglect. It isn’t for lack of trying, laziness, or not being capable, but because we bite off more than we can chew. Maybe our one-year plan should be a five-year plan with smaller goals along the way that helps us achieve the ultimate goal by the end of the desired timeline. It’s also important to remember that success takes time and as we work towards achieving our goals and creating the life we want, it’s important to be mindful and practice perseverance. As Stephen R. Covey once said, “Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.” Success does not happen overnight. Having smaller goals that add up to the larger desired goal can also be more gratifying throughout the process, as you have smaller victories to enjoy and celebrate along the way. One of the ways that you can start developing steps to reach your goal(s) is by imagining what it would look like for the goal to be accomplished. Imagine you go to bed one night like normal and somehow as you're sleeping a miracle happens! You wake up in the morning only to find that…your goal has been achieved, what you wanted for so long has now become a reality! Now, take time to paint this mental picture, what does the day look like? What will you be doing? Who will be there to share it with you? What might other people in your life notice about you that’s different? Take this exercise and start working backward from the goal being completed and discover a new lens for the steps you took to get there.
Enjoy the journey it takes to get to the final destination.
Imagine you are on a road trip, you’re navigating with a map in one hand with the other on the wheel, eyes glued to the road. If you keep your head buried in the map, focused on the path set before you without taking time to look out the window, you will miss the beautiful scenery that surrounds you. Take the time to pull over, do some sightseeing, and maybe a little off-roading, it may feel different at first, maybe a little uncomfortable, however, you will be happy you did.
What does it look like to enjoy the journey? It can look like taking time for self-care, spending time with loved ones, and taking time to appreciate the little things. This can look different for many of us depending on what our daily lives look like, some of us have more time than others. Some may enjoy reading for example, if we have a long commute to work we might listen to an audiobook or a podcast, making that traffic just a little more bearable. With the looming never-ending checklist that we have for our goals, self-care may look like setting a time to put your phone away at the end of a work day to separate home from work may be necessary to wind down. This is also a great way to establish boundaries for yourself and for your coworkers about how precious your time away from work is. Our cups cannot overflow into others if our cups are barely half full. Doing these different things takes time, not only establishing a time for ourselves but there is a process of discovering what is important for us to fill that time with. We just want to make sure that our lists do not fully consume our lives. Because if it does, we will find a breaking point eventually and this can cause burnout, making our goal timelines seem unattainable.
Accepting what has happened in life that has gotten you to this point is a necessary part of moving forward.
Let’s take a moment to reflect on the word choice of moving forward versus “moving on.” The phrase “moving on” is often seen as a way to forget or neglect the past hurt that we have experienced in life, including and especially in this case failing in the pursuit of our goals. This process of moving forward suggests momentum with tools at our disposal, with life experience to guide our decisions and make us stronger individuals. At Discover Hope, we would love to help you not only create realistic goals for your future and hopefully achieve them, but we also want to help and support you in the failures you have found and will continue to find along the way. While 2022 may have been a difficult year, it’s important to remember that there is hope for the future. By taking stock of the situation, creating realistic goals, taking time to enjoy the process, and finding acceptance, we can create a better future for ourselves. We can move forward from the disappointments of last year and any others that may arise throughout our lives. With any challenges that you face now and any years up until this point, we want you to feel supported throughout the process. Healing begins with hope, let’s discover it together.
