Building Healthy Relationships
You see an older couple walking together through the park as you pass by, hands intertwined, not saying a word just enjoying each other’s company. So many of us see senior couples and think it is so precious and endearing to see a couple that must have been together for many years, if not decades. Not only does it warm our hearts but it is often what we hope for and think of for our relationships. A lasting love that overcomes and triumphs year after year and to be able to live life and grow with your partner forever. But forever is a long time, and it has to start somewhere.
Relationships that last come from a strong foundation, but what is that foundation made of? In order to create and strengthen relationships like this, it is important to understand the key elements of what makes a healthy relationship healthy and how to make connections for those desired relationships. The key parts that make up strong bonds are communication, connectivity, shared interests, attraction, and meeting each other’s needs.
Open and Honest Communication With Your Partner
Positive communication skills shine through in our ability to clearly explain our thoughts, feelings, and ideas to one another. Additionally, in your discussions both you and your partner feel comfortable expressing those thoughts and feelings. Having good communication is a skill used in various aspects of our lives and in our relationships, it has the benefit of deepening our existing connections, establishing trust, and helping with our ability to problem-solve. Not only is our ability to clearly and openly talk with our partner important for growing and sustaining our bond but it is essential when it comes to conflict resolution. Being able to overcome problems and fights with your significant other is dependent on your ability to share your feelings and listen to theirs in order to better understand each other’s needs, compromise and come out of it stronger as a couple.
Connect and Stay Connected
How do you feel most connected with your partner? Have you both discussed what you desire your time to connect to look like and how you can obtain the deepest connection? Spending time together and showing interest in each other is the basis of connection, however, to take it a step further is to find what you feel as individuals and as a couple brings your closest together. Here are some examples of how to connect:
● Engaging in meaningful conversations.
● Physical touch and experiencing physical closeness (i.e. enjoying each other’s company, reading next to each other, or watching television).
● Getting time together alone (this is especially important when you have children).
● Sharing a hobby and encouraging each other to embrace the different hobbies we enjoy.
Not only do these various ideas help to create an emotional connection between two people, but it also builds trust. The more time we spend together and the more connections we have, the stronger our bond and the stronger our trust is for each other, which of course only fuels the love we share.
Having Shared Interest Plays a Big Role in Our Bond
As it is mentioned in the section about connection, shared interests and sharing things like our hobbies with each other can help to bring people together and can help to strengthen the bond between them. Finding common interests helps to build understanding and appreciation for one another, it is such a special feeling to be able to take part in what makes your special person so happy. There is a shared enjoyment and joy in having shared interests and it also greatly impacts our attraction to others as well. Having things in common with someone is important, we certainly do not have to be with someone exactly like us, which often isn’t what people want in a relationship. However, having things in common enough to be able to do things together and talk about those activities and various topics you both enjoy is a huge part of our connection and our bond.
Being Attracted to Each Other
Attraction is an important factor in any relationship. It can be displayed through the physical, emotional, or intellectual traits of our romantic partners and it helps in keeping the relationship alive and vibrant. What traits and features do you find the most attractive? Which of your partner’s traits is your favorite? Taking time to express these attributes we find appealing in each other can also be a great way to connect and lift each other up.
Meeting Each Other’s Needs
Another consideration in creating healthy relationships is being conscious of and tending to each other’s needs. This part of the foundation once again covers the physical and emotional as our needs have categories that they fall into. Before being able to meet those needs they have to be laid out and established like boundaries often are, creating an understanding between us and our partner about what our core needs are. Sometimes those needs do not exist well together, and if this happens, it is important to discuss it and come up with a solution together. For example, one of you may be fairly independent and is fully content to do your own thing, while the other wants to spend more time together or at least hear from the other person when they are apart. This is where differences in personalities may sometimes add strain, however, if you discuss with each other how to meet each other’s needs while not sacrificing your own, it can build trust and encourage the continuation of these positive behaviors. It is important to be aware of each other’s needs and to be able to provide support when needed.
Healthy relationships take work, but it is worth the effort to build strong bonds.
Understanding the key elements of healthy relationships and being intentional with the time spent together can help to build strong connections. Communication, connectivity, shared interests, attraction, and meeting each other’s needs are all important elements of healthy relationships. It is also important to be understanding and supportive of those needs and to be open and honest while communicating. This topic and more can be explored in much deeper detail and would be catered to your unique needs as a couple when participating in couples counseling here at Discover Hope. Whether you and your partner are going through a difficult time or just want to strengthen your bond, we would love to help you achieve that. Healing begins with hope, let’s discover it together.
